“Man am I hungover today. I had a laaaate night last night, and def don’t feel okay today”
- the lab tech who was doing my blood test. Awesome.
Conversation with a teenage boy working at the register in a store in Vermont...
- Boy: Oh, I see you are wearing a Yankee hat, where are you from?
- Me: I'm from New Jersey
- Boy: Have you seen the show Jersey Shore?
- Me: Yes, I have.
- Boy: *hesitates for a minute* So, is that what New Jersey is really like?
- Me: You mean the shore or New Jersey as a whole? Plus, most of the cast was from New York.
- Boy: New Jersey. Do people really look and act that way regularly?
- Me: Yes, bright orange people are constantly wandering the streets all over the state fistpumping and doing Jager bombs randomly.
- Boy: *hesitates for another minute* Really?
- Me: No, not really. I am kidding.
- Boy: Oh ok, just checking.
Must be the pump…
Gas Station Attendant (GSA): Hey sweetie, how can I help you?
Me: Um, fill it regular.
…. (5 minutes pass, only 5 gallons filled)
Me: This is really slow…
GSA: Maybe the pump likes you?
Me: Excuse me?
GSA: Maybe the pump likes you? (talks in a sexy voice) It wants you to stay longer so it can look at you.
Me: Ok creeper…. (rolls up window)
Old = Grandmother?
Woman: Good afternoon, I’d like to make a referral for your Grandparent Program.
Jane: Ok, who is the person you are referring?
Woman: It is for an aunt.
Jane: The aunt is requesting services?
Woman: Yes.
Jane: Is she also a grandparent?
Woman: No.
Jane: Ok, this program is for grandparents only. That is why it is called the Grandparent Program.
Woman: Oh… but you can’t fit her in?
Jane: Well we have criteria we have to meet which is given to us by the Dept of Aging in the county. If we don’t meet criteria, we will lose funding. So unless she is a grandmother, we can’t help her in this program.
Woman: Oh… but she’s an old aunt.
Jane: Um… I’m sorry to hear that, but unless she is a grandmother she can’t be part of the Grandparent Program.
Woman: So you can’t pretend she’s a grandmother?
(submitted by Jane)
It's a tough question
- Contractor: So what do you think of the iPhone?
- KG: I don't have the new one, but I love mine
- Contractor: Is it better than men?
- KG: (silence)
- KG: Let me think about that for a couple minutes
I’d go gay for Hugh Jackman as Wolverine
-Taxi Driver
Submitted by MissKris
Taxi Porn Anyone?
Taxi Driver: Are you listening to this song?
Me: Yes… it’s nice.
Taxi Driver: Let me play you guys another song.
Husband: ok.
(2 minutes go by)
Taxi Driver: Don’t you just LOVE this part??
Me: It is nice.
Taxi Driver: It is like two people on a romantic date!!
Me + Husband: (silence)
Taxi Driver: You know, it would be okay if you two made love in my back seat.
Help Fake Step-Son
Taxi Driver: So, maybe you can help me.
Me: Ok…
Taxi Driver: I think that my ex-girlfriend’s son is gay.
Me: Ok…
Taxi Driver: He plays with barbies.
Me: Ok…
Taxi Driver: What do you think?
Me: I don’t really think anything.
Taxi Driver: Well should I talk to her?
Me: Didn’t you say she is your ex?
Taxi Driver: Well, yeah, and she doesn’t really want to talk to me… But he was almost my step-son.
Welcome to Taxi Talk!
Ever had a complete stranger talk to you for 15 minutes about random, personal, unimportant crap? Taxi Talk is a place to share these conversation gems. Enjoy and feel free to submit your own taxi talk.
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